think, process, post- finale

I find a parallel in the way my thoughts float and my inability to be organized in a traditional sense.

I’m hard on myself when it comes to writing…trying to fit myself in to a cookie cutter approach of what this blog should be like. The same is true for my business approach. I tell myself that I need a list. I want to be traditionally organized with my MSSoftServe and my other professional career goals, to be categorized and arranged just so. I tell myself it is the key to being…to feeling less overwhelmed.

If only my goals were compartmentalized – lists that I can then cross off – I could sleep at night if everything I need to do on a stable unwavering list. Yet something prevents me from doing that. My inside voice keeps chanting: Do this… make a list. Keep all of your ideas in this one little book, or this one file. This new way will make everything simple. Yet something blocks me from the brilliant solution I’ve just designed. My process can’t be squeezed into structure. Why can’t I just get back to the flow?

Flow – the passage of time that occurs when the process pulls me along without temporal thoughts. I’m writing and I’m not paying attention to the specifics of the keyboard or what my next sentence will be. No need to edit –that will happen between stops while my brain is deliriously protected from itself.

As I get off the train into the cold night air the papers of my mind become stacked and land in my hand, the one not holding my stick, and I hear the content without reading. Telling me, in a certain voice just what I need to write about. It’s always been there and by letting it float on its own time, I will just have to write it down. The inner talking, the telling, the reading…Embrace it. My way, my flow, my unclogged brain and I impatiently remind myself, Just hit submit already!

8 thoughts on “think, process, post- finale

  1. mshealth411 says:

    I hardly ever end up where I aimed when I began. It’s following the flow and taking the turns which teases the best release in words. That’s my opinion anyways.

  2. Lisa Emrich says:

    Comment confusion. 🙂 Here’s what I meant to say….

    I hardly ever end up where I aimed when I began writing. It’s following the flow and taking the turns which teases the best material.

  3. Nadja Tizer says:

    I’m with Lisa. I’m never exactly sure what I’ll write or if I’ll write at all. I do try to click submit as often as possible because writing helps declutter my busy mind.

    I get the thing about lists. i have long resisted them but lately I write a few and sometimes they help me focus when I feel all spun around.

  4. stephen says:

    yes, i have discovered the value of getting out of the way and letting the characters tell their story. i’ve written several recently that ended up in completely different places than i thought they would. and what a pure pleasure.

  5. Herrad says:

    Writing is always exploring even writing essays for uni where they had to be very structured was an exploration.
    In my essays I always somehow ended up where I wanted to be.
    And each time it was a surprise. Think I always ended up where I wanted to be because I had sletched it all out in a my notes, knew what I wanted to prove and did it. In non essy writing this is the same except thejourney is longer more intense as the story has more room to live a life of its own.
    Love,
    Herrad

    • aglol says:

      Thanks for your comments Herrad. I appreciate your sharing your MS Story, and reading my blog. I will be certain to check in on yours as well.
      All the best,
      Amy

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