So this last week I’m woke up dizzier than the night before. And what originally would fade is now constant. My MS Recovery Diet variation is still up and running, and as I try to put a finger on the how and why – the reason keeps changing positions. It’s so often that I seek out reason for a sense of control… But, as with anything MS, control is elusive. Is it another attack? Is it the same symptom cropping up in these hot summer days? Is it cumulative – and anytime I exert myself I should expect to pay for it in the following weeks?

I suppose I will just have to keep on, keeping on and categorize after the fact. Yes a more organic experience- but one that doesn’t grant me any sense of control. Perhaps I will remember that reality the next time I try to put all the symptoms in neat little boxes. Perhaps not. After all, I’ve had these initials under my name for 20 years and I still haven’t figured it out.

Note to self: check back on this entry the next time I search for reason.