Warning: This entry may not be suitable for anyone with MS who doesn’t want to learn about symptoms that may never affect them~ Proceed Accordingly!
On December 12th I found myself in Dr. Miller’s office explaining the more pronounced symptoms that I had been experiencing over the month prior. Nothing totally out of the ordinary, just a bit more present that usual. I had dizziness, lack of balance and foot drop. (the involuntary drop of a foot when lifting it while walking. This invariably resulted in a more intimate relationship with the sidewalk, if you know what I mean.)
All of these symptoms made periodic appearances in my day to day, which made it difficult to determine when I needed to see my doctor. It was when I lost balance standing still that I decided this was not your normal come-and-go symptom. I was in front of my washing machine assessing its contents when I suddenly ended up on the floor. Now that was a clear signal!
I have a tendency to downplay my response to my ever-evolving symptoms – for my own preservation as well as for my family’s sake. Optimism and the ability to deal with a challenge is part of my fiber. While serving me well in most scenarios it can sometimes work against me.
One area is that my family assumes that I’m handling it well and don’t need any assistance.
The other is that I’m caught completely of guard when my Dr. recommends advanced treatment, as was the case in this situation- “Five days on a steroid drip.”
No problem. Been there, done that. Two and a half years ago I had a limp that was more dramatic than your average foot drag and the steroids whipped me back in to shape in no time. Hell, I even went to work after a morning hook up. This could even be fun. Added energy, higher metabolism, more time to work on my blog, my website, my business plan. I could definitely deal with this!
So, like an overly confident weather forecaster, I planned my month. And, not unlike the weather… it didn’t turn out like I expected. You would think that as a twenty year veteran with this unpredictable disease I would have learned to expect the unexpected.
I guess that for survival purposes it is equally important to have a sense of control. The need to predict is an important part of that…. more on this later.