Consumed with many distractions, I wanted to pause and share a poem i wrote when flooded with emotion about having to put my cat Frankie to sleep. Since I started blogging I have found a wonderful coping mechanism, a catharsis in writing. In particular when dealing with loss. (losing someone twice) Be it a person, a pet or an ability- words have more power than I knew when I began this blog-journey.
So without further adieu, my emotions in words, this week.
Waking, a half conscious journey to morning rituals
Shadows that mark places to avoid are in memory only
The loud greeting while the house sleeps need not be hushed
Greenest eyes pleading for who knows what are closed
An unexpected hole opens wide
For the first time
There is no one sleeping on our floor
So here I am, a month after starting the MS Detox Diet… or my version of it. And my dizziness that began way back when in December is subsiding. It happened so gradually I practically didn’t notice it. In fact the change was so subtle at first that I couldn’t determine what felt different. Just that something good happened. And the sensation is still present when I move certain ways- reminding me not to get overly confident. I’ll turn my head as I’m walking away and everything shifts. But for the most part it’s taken a break. It’s off center stage and blending in to the scenery. No longer does the world as I perceive it change when I go from a seated position to a standing one. Such a smooth and gradual transition… that it wouldn’t be difficult to forget. But now, when people have the courage to ask me how I’m doing… I excitedly report something other than status quo. And I remind myself to not get overly confident as I tell them that is crops up periodically. Don’t get used to this … because it can change back in a second. Since my “recovery” I have reverted more than once. As Dr. Verter, who has been treating me more regularly said, “don’t expect that this will be anything but a minor setback”. And he was right. And so it is. But I will keep my fingers crossed in an “un-superstitious” way. Hoping, praying? To the higher power that exists in this universe that this will be all but a distant memory to recap in a “what was” report of my Multiple Sclerosis.