Did I post this article already??
It was so significant to read as it ran a few months after my dizziness began… feeling as though I’m not alone in the unstable journey. I happily read “Multiple Sclerosis” as a cause … “Here it is”.. I showed everyone, as if they doubted my experience. Yet I still feel that need. Here I am, entering my 5th month with “persistent dizziness” trying to explain it to anyone who will listen. My family and friends are cursing this damn disease that leaves me this way. My 6 year old daughter complains daily that she is dizzy too. My colleagues at work help me to laugh through it as I need help getting things off shelves as the sensation increases when I look up. It’s all good, in spite of how absurd it feels not to be able to do the little things. It brings overt helplessness to this disease that I’ve been struggling with invisibly for almost 20 years. I suppose there are some good sides of that.
Since I started walking with my stabilizing stick I have daily conversations about MS… telling people who didn’t know and educating those who need more information about the variable nature of MS. It often requires a little armor on my part. Deflecting the long details about the people they know with progressive cases that keep getting worse, or those who say diminutive things like “well you must have a mild case” not knowing what they can’t see.
It’s been a rough ride these last 5 months. An experience that has warranted some big changes for me. An opportunity to exert control in a life where I’ve had so little. I will detail those shortly.
For now.. I’m getting off at the next stop.